I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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