Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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