3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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