News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize