Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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