nutella sex= disaster
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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