he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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