I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
dude. I can hear the air.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
