Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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