At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
