I wish I could teleport
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
