So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
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