i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
