WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
