I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
