I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
