She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Randomize
