Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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