I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
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If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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