I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
