His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
