oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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