ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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