yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
