Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
