Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
