Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
