He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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