You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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