wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
