Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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