she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
