Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
