i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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