So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
