YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
