Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
