she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
