I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
