I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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