once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
