Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
