I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
