I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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