No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
