Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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