I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
