Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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