I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Mom said you looked used
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
