Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
