dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
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its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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