You're so nebulous sometimes
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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