Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
