Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
