Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
