just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
