I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
