I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
