It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
