this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
