So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
