i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
