Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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