i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
