They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
