I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
