after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
