You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
