grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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